100 Song Titles pt 2

1. Austin's Song
2. Love Songs for People in San Joaquin County
3. Doomed & Destined
4. And You Probably Will
5. How Could You Not Know?
6. Little Kids Stuff
7. TV Shows
8. Slow News Day
9. Jerome
10. Fur Elise
11. Bodysong
12. Dreamlove
13. Over 300 Channels and Nothing On
14. TV Land
15. I Was in Love
16. "A Man Named Neitzsche"
17. More Time
18. Breaching
19. Reaching
20. (I Can't Fell the) Chemistry
21. It's a Dream!
22. Miracle Time
23. More to Life
24. These Tender Moments
25. Remember That One Time?
26. The Hack & Dream
27. Welcome to Hell (and by "Hell" I Mean "Earth")
28. I'm Going to Fall in Love with People I Don't Know
29. I Wooed Her with Deerhunter
30. St. Jerome II
31. A Certain Tension
32. Nothing to Report
33. Bonding
34. Providence, UT
35. It Is Time
36. Inherently Evil
37. Community Shit
38. South of Main
39. I'm Tired of People Singing About Birds
40. Dreamsnake
41. Desparation
42. Girls' Apt.
43. Until I Go Back
44. Peanuts
45. Too Many Dreams
46. Are Your Eyes Like Mine?
47. Clapping
48. Turning Agian
49. Take
50. Almost Happy
51. Left
52. $3 Kill Machine
53. Clothes
54. Too
55. Grace
56. I Go to Parties by Myself
57. Complaint Box
58. Everything Hurts
59. You Know Nothing of Loneliness
60. How I Overcame
61. Outside
62. Funeral Potatoes
63. Wedding Photos
64. The Jason Unforgivable 
65. Food!
66. Some Times (But Not All the Time)
67. Younger Now Than I Was Then
68. Sometimes I Wish You'd Just Shut the Hell Up
69. You Wrote
70. Repent
71. Leave Shoes at the Door (When You Go Outside)
72. Dark Room
73. [ENT Loman]
74. Pocket Change
75. I Am a Jealous God
76. Grow Old With Me
77. Break Bread With Me
78. Everything About This Is Breaking My Heart
79. The Lyric
80. Hot Love
81. The Morgan
82. Let's Make It There
83. Melissa on a Bike Through La Raya
84. The Shoulders of the World
85. I'm Leaving
86. The New Way to "Feel"
87. Elated
88. For Carey
89. Kiss You
90. The Original Humor
91. Cigarette Dream
92. Love Is An Art
93. Oh, 17!
94. Nothing Good Ever Happens in Twin Falls, ID
95. The Vulture
96. King of Linden
97. My Mornings with Satan
98. Now I Know What They Meant
99. Brown
100. Before

St. Jerome I

I SHIFT BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN MY CONFIDENCE AND SADNESS
AND I'M AWARE OF EITHER ONE
I'M EITHER:
THE HAPPIEST PERSON IN THE WORLD OR THE SADDEST PERSON IN THE WORLD
I EITHER TAKE LOVE TOO SERIOUSLY OR TREAT LOVE LIKE A JOKE
NOTHING IS IN BETWEEN
NOTHING IS IN BETWEEN
I DON'T GET YOU, YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS
IT'S LIKE YOU'RE NORMAL
ALL YOUR FRIENDS ARE ATTRACTIVE
ALL YOUR OVERWEIGHT FRIENDS ARE RICH
YOU WOULDN'T KNOW REALITY IF IT SLAPPED YOU IN THE FACE
BUT I REALLY DO LIKE YOU
AND YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S ALRIGHT
I JUST LOSE MY CONFIDENCE WHEN I'M AROUND YOU PEOPLE
SHY & UPTIGHT
NOT MYSELF
CRANKY
HELL
OH, HELL
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO DRINK KOOL-AID AND WATCH TV!

The Dream (and the hack)

I had this oddly beautiful dream last night, and I probably would have forgotten about it if a mission buddy of mine didn't get his facebook account hacked this morning.

THE DREAM
So... I still can't remember what happened in the whole dream. I just remember the last few scenes before I woke up. I was in the mountains. Not sure where, I was just living in a beautiful middle of nowhere. In my dream, I was on my way to church and I was feeling kinda ticked; I was on-edge. It was a small ward with a few people my age, but mostly old folks and their families. Actually, it was a lot like the Stanley, ID branch in the summer. Anyways, I remember walking out in the middle of church because I felt so bothered. I felt people there were judging me because I had this cranky attitude. They were also judging me for not being married. I walked out and looked at the sun gleaming over the mountains for a only a couple minutes and I sudden felt complete; happy, whole.
I walked to the back of the church where some toddlers were playing with playground equipment. There was this little girl on a swing set (in my dream, she was relative; perhaps a niece or cousin) staring at the same scenery I had been looking at. She pointed at it. She said something ridiculously cute like, "Look at that, Scott. Is that Jesus?" I stood there trying not to laugh and I answered, "Yeah, sure... I mean, yes, of course it is!" I then found myself laughing and she started laughing too. I was so happy, I started crying, and her being a crazy little girl, she tackled me to the ground. And I just looked up at the sky, laughing and crying while this little girl was wrestling me on the grass. (There was gorgeous background music to this-- it had the opening chords to "This Is the Christ," and the clarinet part to Antony Haggerty's "Cut the World.")
Then I woke up.

THE HACK
I am Scott Hall after all, hence I logged onto facebook merely minutes after waking up. On my news feed, I noticed a mission buddy commented on another mission buddy's photo. The photo was 2 years old and kinda looked like this:

Not the actual picture. I feel that would be inappropriate.

The only reason my mission buddy Elder Kearl "commented" on this was because his account got hacked. I suppose there's no other real reason for him to have looked at someone's 2-year-old pictures, right? The hacked version of Elder Kearl didn't just comment on any missionary's picture. It was Elder Thomas Olsen.

Elder Olsen (that's what I knew him as) passed away about 2 months ago. I was in a couple districts with him out in the mission field. I knew enough about him to know he had a loving heart and a firm testimony. And this picture he posted on facebook 2 years ago- a photo of a river in the woods- had the following words written in the description:

"FISHING IS WHERE GOD IS"

THE PRINCIPLE

Now- I don't fish. But this made me smile real big. The fact that people out there can find a connection with God doing something as common and simple as fishing- or in my dream, the little girl associating deity with the sunshine on the mountains- it's a heartwarming thought. I can honestly admit to having spiritual moments with nature. 

Elder Olsen isn't living on this Earth anymore. But I have a hunch he's in a place where he can do something similar to fishing. Perhaps in the Spirit World, preaching the gospel to those who aren't aware of it. After all, Christ does say in Matthew 4:19, "Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men."

At the end of the day, the entirety of my dream may have not meant anything (because it was, after all, a dream). But there's just too much to interpret. That little girl asked if the sun was Jesus. Jesus himself says in John 8:12, "I am the light of the world." So I guess she was right. As Matthew 19:4 confirms her point, "Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven." In addition, the light I saw helped me pass through a hard time.

I do believe in a Father in Heaven, I believe in Jesus Christ and I believe in the Holy Ghost. I don't say that aloud very often, so I have a mild commitment to leave you with. I invite you to get in touch with your innocent side and/or to turn off your phone and find some time alone with nature. 

Maybe you could do some fishing. 

100 Song Titles

I think of song titles and song concepts everywhere I go. This semester, I decided to write down ones I feel like I should keep. I copied all my notes onto this blog. As of this morning, I reached 100.
This isn't the first time I've shared song titles. And its sad that nobody ever hears the product. But I like my songwriting work more and more with every creative spurt I go through. If I had more time, I would love to explain what each song is about. I do know, it just takes too much writing. Feel free to ask.
These are in order of my 1st idea back in January up to the most recent.

1. Parties
2. Selling Out
3. Ready For The World
4. No More Bad Times/Feel Good All The Time
5. Big Egypt
6. My Worlds Are Colliding
7. Who The Hell Is Sondheim?
8. Gotta Get Outta Logan (if i can't feel it)
9. By The Time I Get To SLC
10. A Letter To Becca
11. Holy Cow(s)!
12. I Know Who I Am And I Know What I'm Doing With My Life for the Rest of My Life
13. Sunday In The Park With Someone Else
14. Theatre Dept.
15. How Am I Supposed To Know?
16. Someone Else, Somewhere Else
17. No Eyes
18. I Want
19. Who Am I Kidding?
20. More Than Free
21. Born to Be
22. Touchy Touchy
23. Convince Me
24. Show Me
25. Where Did I Go?
26. Return To Envy
27. Thought About Death
28. The Good Stuff
29. Still Love You
30. Wait, I've Heard This One Before
31. Song For Joe White
32. Too Soon?
33. When You Get Married
34. Animal Time
35. Waiting for Nothing
36. I'm Ready To Party (Finally)
37. You Say You Are
38. How How How How?
39. Do Not
40. Not A Dream
41. Powerade
42. Too Easy
43. Nobody Knew
44. This Is The Part Where You Fall
45. Hayride
46. Stay Awake
47. (Not Even) Close
48. Angelsong
49. The New Dream
50. Life As You Know It, From This Moment On
51. The Closest Thing You Can Do to Nothing
52. Backstage
53. Food Chain
54. How Old Is This Photo & Why Am I In It?
55. Katie
56. Where You Belong
57. Do You Think We're Alright?
58. Speedlife
59. Look At Me, Riley
60. Royalties
61. Dammit Girl, Don't Look At Me Like That
62. There
63. Where Are You From & Why Are You From There?
64. You Make Me Sweat Profusely
65. Generally General
66. A Song You'll Remember
67. Maturity And Silence
68. 3rd Grade Funroom
69. Nothing Here To See
70. There Is No Fear In Perfect Love
71. Close Friends
72. There Will Be Time Enough For Falling In Love When You're In Love
73. Life Is Good (for Janet Hull)
74. Tired Of The World
75. ...Still
76. Accurse
77. I'm Writing Songs About You
78. I Need This
79. What The Hell Else Are We Supposed To Talk About?
80. Abandon
81. (concept songs for each USU semester)
82. Naked People
83. Faithless Thing
84. Always Hungry
85. You Came To Me
86. Can Scott Hall Save Texas Blues?
87. Talking For Hours
88. You're Breakin' My Heart/You're Bustin' My Chops
89. In The Crook Of My Arm
90. You Forgot
91. Movies
92. Games
93. Nobody Goes To The Beach Anymore
94. Death By Living
95. Passion In The Way
96. World Of Fear
97. Out Of Words, Out Of Words
98. Street 
99. Another Life
100. 'Round The Corner

The Joy In Music

I know. A very generic title. But there's an important principle to be learned from this blog.
More than anyone else I know, I get caught up in what goes through my earphones. I recently made commentary that I'm happier when I'm less incorporated with media. I am guilty of always getting caught up in comparing modern music acts, which leads me to being very judgmental and making lots of songs and albums lists. It's a waste of mental time. But it's also kinda fun.
I recently purchased The Avalanches' Since I Left You. This past week I've been thinking "Why didn't I buy this a long time ago?" I've been listening to the entire album via internet theft for the last 2 years. The track "Since I Left You" has been a favorite since I first heard it in spring 2009. The song (and eventually the whole album) is something I've used to make me happy. It samples drops of pure nostalgic joy into one, quite modern dance record. Listening to this album daily from my home stereo has kind of become an instant, dance-able, paradisaical experience (especially on a sunny day). The thought has occurred: Why don't I just listen to music that makes me happy all the time?   

I was about 19 when I realized all the music I've been getting into was freaking depressing. I liked it all, but I actually would listen to lyrics closer and noticed that all these weird bands just have freaking depressing messages. I kinda just rolled with it. So the majority of good music is really sad and self-inflicting. So what?
Between the last two paragraphs, consider this quote from music critic Carl Wilson:

"How we interact with art is a microcosm of the way we interact with the world."

So why can't I listen to happy music all the time? That's not real life. Do I still listen to lots of negative music? If it sounds cool, I listen to it. So yes... yes I do...
HOWEVER....
Getting wrapped into some songwriter's personal emotions is risky business. Oddly enough, it does help you associate with the emotional complexes of the people in your life, or at least helps you listen. Just remember the songwriter isn't always you. You can't be every songwriter in the world. Which kinda sucks, but it's for the better in the long run.
I went through distracting amounts of clinical stress disorders throughout 2010, 2011 and 2012. I cite the catalyst of my problems to my mindset during fall 2009 semester at CSI. I bought a lot of great music during that time, but I was always thinking negatively about myself. So going back to music I listened to then has a history of triggering some self-consciousness. As my life continues, I revisit this music and it's defected me less and less.
Most recently erased from my "depression/anxiety" playlist is Built to Spill's Perfect From Now On. For the longest time, I've heard the first note of that album and I go into this dark place. It wasn't until recently when I listened to the album solely for its sonic qualities and cool guitar tones. Listening to it now, it's just as listenable as the rest of their work. "Velvet Waltz" used to be my favorite track because of its grandiose, melodramatic approach to topics so internally distressing yet so small to the outside world. Now I recognize and appreciate its layered guitars tones, all atmospheric, beautiful and crunchy. Still my favorite track, btw. Despite its personal, anxious lyrics, I've recognized Perfect From Now On is something cool and also kinda fun.

Something I constantly learn is to actually remember what you've learned. I listen to a lot of sad music, but I'm always finding ways to discover the joy in it. Nihilism tests that we are nothing and we came from nothing. Not knocking nihilists out there, I'm just saying that the original theory of music/songwriting, is far from it. A quote from the Flaming Lips' Wayne Coyne:

"You can't just write a song because you're sad. You can't just do it because something happened to you. Someone is invested; this is their song... about their life and their identity."

...and that's SOMETHING.